Throughout my life I have traveled on business to many Arab countries, especially those in the Gulf including Saudi Arabia. And in business it is unavoidable to share meals with the locals, at a level that a tourist will never reach (in the same way that the businessman goes through the countries without seeing more than airports and offices). It is true that there is a certain protocol at the table that differs according to each country, but very often the meaning of some gestures is exaggerated or distorted and in other cases rules that are important are omitted. More than once I have laughed heartily reading the protocol and etiquette guides at the table of business organizations or from travel agencies that are supposed to be well informed. If someone followed the instructions in these brochures strictly, they would have a serious problem. This is my vision of the subject on how to behave at the Arab table. I still have quite a few Arab friends, so I think I know something about it.
I have often read that it is advisable to end the meal with a loud belch of approval and thus cause satisfaction in the host. Please don't. They never do it, I have not seen it among the upper, lower or middle classes and if you did it you would probably feel embarrassed. Behave as you usually do - I hope you are decent people - and that will be enough. Think that you are infront a people that reached the highest milestones of Humanity. The "burp" theme is more common in the Far East and with no hidden or implied meaning: you burp for no reason, period.
Wash your hands well before sitting down at the table. If you don't, they won't blame you, but it's better to go, even if you have hands like gold. This really is a social act, almost religious.
Many times you will not realize if you do it right or wrong because the guest has a kind of papal bull to do practically what he wants. It is the rule of hospitality that the Arabs have learned very well. Look at the other diners and act similarly. And when in doubt, ask or do just as you would do at etiquette tables in your country.
Don't use your left hand. They won't blame you either, but for various reasons of cultural tradition, the left hand was reserved for "dirty" tasks, while the right hand was the one that could move freely through food. This is an important rule - I don't know why few guides mention it - and somewhat difficult to follow. My method was to pull the chair closer to the table and catch the left hand hanging off the edge of the table with my belly. That way it was "artificially" trapped and if instinct made me move it, that brake reminded me that I shouldn't. You will ask me, and how do you cut the meat or hold the bread? Every rule has its exceptions and in the tables of Arab etiquette you will find the typical dizzying of cutlery on both sides of the table. This implicitly indicates that in that house or in that restaurant they have overcome tradition and you can use both hands without problems. They know you are western and they want to make you things easier.
If you do not find such a clear indication, you will probably not miss it either because we are not going to find a steak or an entrecote to cut with fork and kniffe using both hands, that is not the type of food that you will find in an Arab country. They will put the food on your plate and it will be soft enough so that you can cut it or collect it with a single piece of cutlery. Or it is also possible that it is eaten from a comunal single source or from the plate in front of you using a piece of bread that you will use to pick up the rice or aubergine salad.
The Arabs do not like that if you have some business in hand you take advantage of the food to get down to business. Come on, they don't like you screwing up their food. Me neither. If you want to sell a helicopter, talk about anything, digress, go to any other subject but don't go directly to the topic of your interest because it's almost certain that they will cut you off and they will tell you that you're not doing well so. Even outside the context of food, directly addressing a topic where you raise something and expect an answer "now" does not usually work. I have spent more than once ten days in an Arab country seeing my client every day and not talking about the subject that had taken me to his country until the last day and already on my way to the airport. That is why when I see the Foreign Ministers of Western countries on a "lightning" visit, I can't help but understand why the conflicts in the Middle East go on forever. More mint tea smoking the hookah and less rushing, that's what the area needs.
There is no after-dinner. The Spanish or Italian culture is used to spending time sitting at the table talking even if there is no food left on the table. When an Arab finishes eating he gets up and leaves. Maybe to a nearby room to smoke, watch TV or have tea, but he does not stay at the table. For Spaniards, Italians or Greeks who are instilled in us from a very young age that "don't get up from the table until we all get up" it is very shocking to see diners get up when they feel like it and disappear leaving you with the fork on the way to mouth. Many times I ended up alone in the dining room with an expression of hallucinatory perplexity.
The tables are served with opulence. The Arab likes to exhibit a certain gastronomic potential but not for you to start thinking about what will happen to all that food that remains there. If you do the Saudi will say that now the women will come in and finish eating the things and others will just be offended.
Unfortunately women do not share meals with men and if you see any woman it is probably a young girl who helps to serve the table. In Saudi Arabia, segregation is such that families who go to restaurants are forced to separate, with the husband staying in one place and the wife with the children in another room in the same restaurant. I will not comment on this sad situation above all because there are many, many Arabs, still strictly Wahhabis, who hate this discriminatory situation. Fortunately things are changing today. They are slow changes but consistent with the inexorable passage of time.
The host loves that the guest eats and eats in abundance. Let him repeat the dish if possible and thus show that he has enjoyed it. My rule was to repeat twice and politely decline the third attempt to refill the plate. If you eat little you can really have a bad time. I remember having dinner in Riyadh up to 3 times in the same night for social commitments and that my partner Abdullah would stop the car on any street so that we could walk a hundred meters and thus help the heavy digestion.
Eating is a social act and as such you should not turn down any invitation, be it to tea or a sixteen course meal, regardless of whether you like it or not. I have attended sumptuous meals where I have simply handled some dishes, I have explained to the host that I was about to explode and nothing has happened, nobody has been angry. As I say, it is a social act that must be complied with.
If you know that the cook is the host's wife and the host has said so, it is not a serious offense to indirectly congratulate her or send her a greeting through her husband. You can start with a cautious "I don't know if I can congratulate her wife on this meal..." and depending on how strict the host is, he will simply smile or accept the congratulations. As I have said many times, the Arab does not always agree with the rules that make him abide by. Otherwise in summer we would not see them strolling with families, often bare-faced women, around Lake Geneva or Harrods.
If you are invited to a restaurant never try to pay the bill. It is considered of a very bad education. You are always the guest, even if not at the home of the host. In the same way, if the arab comes to your country, you should be up to pay everything.
Finally, it is convenient to appear affable and extroverted. A good laugh is the best ingredient in a meal and arabs like a lot to enjoy of a good conversation and of funny jokes. If you want to make business and they like you, things will be a lot easier.